Find Success with a Goals Map
Most people have certain things we want to accomplish in our lives. We call these “goals.” At the middle of the distribution curve are people who have a handful of things they really want and a few things they kind of want. At the opposite ends we have people who haven’t given much thought to their goals and people who have more goals than they can possibly complete in one lifetime. I definitely fall into the latter group, and today, that is who I am speaking to. Let’s discuss how a Goals Map can be your map to success, and the first steps to making one.
Imagine that you decide to take a one-week vacation and you want to explore California, Vermont, and Louisiana. A few minutes set aside for proper planning and a good look at a map will tell you that you want to do too much in one week. Worse yet, if you get on the road with no plan, you may never reach any of those places, instead stopping at too many random diners and balls of twine.
The initial investment of planning time can feel like a bit of a hurdle or a waste, but without taking the time to really sort out where we are going, how can we ever expect to get there? The plain and simple truth is that we do not have enough time in a day or on this earth to do everything our hearts can imagine, so we need to understand, direct, and prioritize better. We can do amazing things, but we have to decide which things.
When our goals list is super long, we can often feel paralyzed about what to do next. Each goal competes with the others to the point that we either never start or once the work gets hard, we jump to another goal. It can feel like we’re never making progress, because we see all of the goals that we aren’t making progress on sitting in front of us. That giant list can lead us to feel like a failure, fueling depression, anxiety, and making ADHD worse.
I want to walk you through an exercise I did a few years ago that really helped me. I repeated this exercise last year and have had even more success.
We begin with a sheet of paper and a pen or pencil. At the top, in 3 columns or on 3 pages, write “Be,” “Have,” and “Do.” Then start writing. Put down everything that you can think of that you really want to be, have, or do in this life. I mean everything! This most likely won’t take as long as you think. If you’ve never written down your goals before, it can feel like a never-ending list in your head, but you’ll probably run out of things within 30 minutes. Please don’t skip this step. You can’t map your goals if you don’t know what they are.
Now carry the list with you wherever you go for the next 24 to 48 hours so you can add anything to it that pops into your head.
After you have done this (seriously, take the time to carry it for a day or two), sit down with your lists. It’s time to get ruthless.
- Cross off anything that you only “kinda wanna” do.
- Cross off anything that is outside of your control, like “Win the lottery.” That isn’t a goal, it’s a wish.
- Look for “should.” If in your head, the sentence starts with “I should” instead of “I really want to,” it probably isn’t your goal. It’s most likely someone else’s goal for you or it is a sub-component of the real goal. Ex. You wrote down “Lose 10 lbs.” but in your head is sounds like “I should lose 10 lbs.” Think about what this really means. Is this simply that you feel societal pressure to lose 10 lbs.? If that’s the case, cross it out. It’s not your goal. Let it go! However, if the weight loss is because you believe that it will improve your relationship with your spouse (spoiler alert, it probably won’t), then cross out this non-goal and add the real goal to your list, like “Improve Relationship with Spouse.” You have probably written at least a few “should” goals down because we all want to make the people that we love happy. That isn’t bad, it’s just getting in the way of your real goals.
- Look for goals that you don’t need to start working on for at least 5 years. Cross them off. Ex. You want to learn a bunch of languages and know that one is ranked way below the others. Or you are in your 30s and thinking about one very specific trip you want to take when you retire. Let those goals know that they aren’t allowed to take up brain space right now by crossing them off.
- Rewrite your lists on a fresh sheet of paper.
Your list should be a bit shorter now. At this point, it should only contain things that you really want to be, have, or do. Every item on the list should make your heart beat faster when you think of making that goal come true. If it doesn’t excite you, double check that it isn’t actually a “should.”
At this point, this can start to feel like a long process, but I promise you, it is worth it. Now grab another sheet of paper. This time, printer paper or even poster board is better, but a lined sheet of paper turned sideways can work too. We’re about to get less linear.
Do some of your goals group together well? Are they sub-goals of other goals? If “Lose 10 lbs.,” “Ride my bike more,” and “Eat better” are all on the list, are they all simply “Get Healthier” or do they serve different purposes? Maybe riding the bike has more to do with a goal to reduce your carbon footprint than it does with getting healthy. Only you really know. Maybe riding your bike and eating better are sub-goals. Start moving things to the new sheet of paper and show the relationships between things. Draw lines, arrows, or put them all in the same circle. (Or next level trick, put them on Post-Its and move them around until you are happy, then copy it.)
As you put things together, you may realize that they are all part of a bigger goal that you didn’t even consider. Maybe you realize that “Play more with the kids” is the real goal and getting healthy is just a sub-goal. Maybe you didn’t even mention playing with the kids on your list, but as you connect things, you realize that was the bigger goal that everything leads to. You are starting to put together the map of important landmarks in your future.
This should be at least a little fun. Your Goals Map may have things crossed out and moved as you find better ways to organize your goals. Some items may be crossed out permanently when you realized it wasn’t the real goal. Let your creativity flow and don’t be afraid to start over if you have a completely new idea. It’s all part of the process.
Most of your goals will likely link to other goals, but you may end up with a few that are all by themselves. That’s fine. There isn’t a set way that the final result needs to look. You are unique. Your Goals Map will be unique. If you have a group that fits together without a clear goal name, sort out what connects it, and give it a new goal name. When finished, you will likely have something with somewhere between 4 and 8 groupings, possibly with one or two outlier goals that are off all by themselves. If you have more than that, try giving more thought to how everything fits together and see if you can combine or cross out a few more goals.
When you feel content with your map, bring out another sheet of paper. List your goals again. First write the top goal from clear Big Goals or the title of a goal group. Then, with indents, write the sub-goals underneath of it.
If you have more than 4 Big Goals, decide which 4 are the most important to you right now. Put a star next to those 4. Rewrite those 4 somewhere you will see them frequently. If you have a wall mounted calendar you actually look at, write them somewhere visible for the next 2 or 3 months. Consider putting them on your fridge or taping them to the wall by your desk. The point is to be forced to see them every, or almost every day.
Congratulations! You have now identified your top goals! You have started your goals map! In future posts we’ll explore ways to add details and implement plans to reach those goals. In the meantime, you’ll be surprised how inspiring it can be to look at your goals every day and only see 4 things that you are working toward. Hold onto the goals list that you made. We’ll refer back to it when we make our plans.
After trying this, let us know what your top 4 are in the comments below. Good luck, and until next time, keep building your better lived life.
