While I don’t remember specifics, I’m pretty sure I tried to meditate a few times as a teenager. Pretty sure it was an absolute failure. Like most people with little understanding of meditation, I sat down and tried to “think of nothing.” Yeah. I could not “shut down” my brain for even 5 seconds. This would never work.
Then it all changed. In college, I signed up for two classes that changed my mind about meditation, “Health & Stress Management,” and “Psychology of Tai Chi Chuan.” The first class introduced the concept of mindfulness and the idea of controlling our thoughts and focus. The latter introduced multiple types of meditation and clear instructions on how to do them and why it might work.
I tend to use the terms meditation and mindfulness interchangeably, though some attach religious connotations to “meditation.” If that makes you uncomfortable, read everything I write today using the word “mindfulness” instead.
First, let’s remove the big myth. Meditation is NOT a blank mind (at least not for beginners, or even intermediates). Meditation is a practice of controlling your focus. It is an exercise that we can do that can allow us to strengthen our focusing muscles. Even with ADHD, we can still strengthen our ability to focus. Our ability to exercise control over our focus is the mental equivalent of a scrawny kid. We may never be able to bulk up into a heavyweight body builder, but we CAN put on some muscle.
There are many, many types of meditation. Personally, I prefer the simple version where I focus on my breath, thinking “in” and “out” while I breathe. I exercise my focus by choosing to focus on my breath. Of course, I get distracted. Once I notice, I return to thinking about my breath.
The exercise doesn’t come from thinking about my breathing. The exercise is returning to thinking about my breath after I get distracted. I am training my brain to bring my focus back to what I intend to focus on. Once we understand that the exercise is returning our focus to our breath (think resistance training), it becomes easier to let go of frustrations from getting distracted. If we didn’t get distracted, we couldn’t do the practice.
If focusing on your breath for 5 minutes sounds too boring to start, try a guided visualization meditation. Search YouTube and there are thousands. Try a few short ones until you find one you like. Generally, they have someone speaking who helps you to practice focusing on whatever the visualization is. It’s usually something like a stream, comfortable field, or sky and allowing your thoughts to drift away on leaves, the wind, or clouds. If you want to engage your imagination a bit more, these are good places to start.
One of my favorite types of mindfulness exercises is progressive muscle relaxation. Starting at the top of your head (or face), intentionally relax the muscles until you get all the way to your feet. The more you practice, the more control you will have over your muscles, allowing you to intentionally relax your body when needed. It is a wonderful exercise when lying in bed and getting ready to fall asleep. Over time, I have learned how to use this technique to remain calmer (or at least look calmer) during times of conflict or intense emotions, especially at work.
My point is, give meditation another chance. For years you have heard everyone talk about it as being beneficial. It is. What’s even better, it’s very hard to do it “wrong.” The goal is trying, failing, and trying again. With ADHD, we have no shortage of opportunities to redirect our focus. Why not get some exercise redirecting it intentionally?
If you have a favorite meditation or mindfulness exercise, please share in the comments. If you are new to meditation, what would you like to try first?
You are amazing! Now go forth and do great things!
