For most of us, if people ask us if we have goals in life, it’s easy to say yes. When asked what they are, we can usually rattle off a few, maybe even with a little detail to go with some of them.
In this article I want to explore the idea of what makes a goal worthwhile. What makes something worth pursuing? Often, we set a goal that is, quite frankly, weak. A strong goal tells you right away why you are willing to work to get that thing.
As losing weight is a common goal, let’s use it for this example. “I want to lose 10 lbs” is a terrible goal. It’s arbitrary. When pitted against the instant pull of a favorite food, this weak goal doesn’t have much fight in it. Odds are that I’m eating the bad food, and you might too. The goal also has a very clear end. This is a large part of why most people quickly put weight back on after losing it. It’s a bad goal.
Let’s try this again. What is the point in losing weight? What is it that you actually want? I promise you, it isn’t to fit into a specific article of clothing either. It’s just cloth. It has no meaning of its own. Think deeper. Really dig. “I want to play more with my grandkids.” “I want to live long enough and be healthy enough to walk my child down the aisle.” “I want to be in less pain.” These are goals.
The question is, what do you want out of life? Start with the goal that pops into your head and ask “Why?” Keep asking “Why?” until you run out of answers. Now we can start.
Now your goal may be, “I want to be in less pain, and the first step is losing 10 lbs.” By clarifying why that task is being undertaken answers the questions about how long it will last and what will happen after it is achieved. If all you wanted to do was impress people at the high school reunion, you have no reason to keep the weight off, but with this goal, it is clear that the long-term plan is to keep it off and take even more actions to decrease pain.
Another common goal is keeping a home cleaner. This is a good goal to dig deeper into. For many women, a clean home is a statement of self-value. How recently someone swept their floor should not be a way to measure self-worth. If this is the “why” that you ultimately find, utilizing a therapist might be a better route to what you are looking for. However, wanting to spend more time with friends and family because you love and miss them could be a great reason to clean more.
By clarifying the reason, it also clarifies priorities. The living room needs to be nice, but the private bathroom upstairs may only need a quick once over. You also now know what additional tasks may need to be added, like planning a meal, snacks, or movies, and asking people to come over. Or now that you know what you really want, maybe you’ll opt to simply ask a friend to go out for coffee instead and save your energy for something else.
Dig into your goals with the question of “why” to find out what your motives truly are. It’s not worth pursuing a bunch of shallow goals only to look back years later and wonder why we are unhappy. Once we know what we really want, we can invest our energy where it will best serve us. Imagine how much better our lives could be if our energy went where it made us feel the most fulfilled.
Do you have too many goals? Check out this article to explore how to choose which ones to focus on in this one precious life that we have.
Now that we are picking the right goals, in a future article we will explore how to turn these goals into SMART goals. In the meantime, hopefully you have a better and stronger starting point to help you on your journey.
Now go forth and do great things!
